» 80s Lights! Camera! Vegan!

Mermaids

Artists rendering of my typical Friday nights.

Mermaids is probably written off by most people as just a chick movie, and if you’re one of those people you’re missing out on a really funny movie. Although there are some tears, and a few moments where vaginas all hug each other, Mermaids is way more comedy than dramz. Our narrator, Charlotte, tells the story of her ‘free-spirited’ mother (Mrs. Flax) who moves them every time she breaks up with a boyfriend, never serves anything that isn’t a finger food, and dresses like a teenager. Naturally, Charlotte rebels by aspiring to be a nun and being so uptight, she could swallow coal and crap out a diamond. Her little sister, Kate, takes all of this much more in stride and seems to largely ignore the clashes between her mom and her sister. Of course, Charlotte falls in love with Jake Ryan and this really conflicts with her desire to be the polar opposite of her mother. Meanwhile, Mrs. Flax catches the eye of a local shoe salesman who is way more into her than she ever lets herself be into anyone. And Kate holds her breath a lot. For a brief while, everything seems to be going well, which can only mean things are going to get fucked up, and HOW.

While Mrs. Flax is presented as a cool, hip lady it doesn’t take much reading between the lines to see that she’s actually a big coward who runs from her problems and truly growing up. Charlotte is a total spaz and her inner monologue of telling herself to shut up while she word vomits to Jake Ryan about nuns taking showers is something I can relate to. In the end, the two manage to rub off on one another, and the movie ends with them dancing and singing Jimmy Soul. Awwwww, vaginas.

This movie also produced one of the few covers that I think blows every other version out of the water (sorry, Aretha).

Starring Cher (Mask, Witches of Eastwick), Winona Ryder (Heathers, Reality Bites, all of those Tim Burton movies),Bob Hoskins (Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Hook), Michael Schoeffling (Sixteen Candles), and itty bitty Christina Ricci (Addams Family, Pecker, The Opposite of Sex, on and on) in her film debut!

Entree: Get yourself some star-shaped cookie cutters and make some unmanly sandwiches! Charlotte just makes boring meat-cheese-mustard sandwiches which you could easily recreate with tofurkey slices and vegan sliced cheese, or you could make some fancy-ass Cucumber Avocado Tea Sandwiches.
Side: Remind Charlotte that she’s Jewish with these latkes, that can be finger foods. Also they have FLAX seeds in them lol/puns/I am hilarious. Alternately/also, you can make swedish meatballs.
Dessert: Usually I try to keep specific products out of my dinners with movies, but I think we can all agree that it’s marshmallow kabobs or GTFO. Get yourself some Dandies or Sweet and Sara marshmallows, a box of Dots, maraschino cherries, and if my eyes are telling me right, some cut up vegan candy bars (like Go Max Go) and some spearable cookies and put them all on kabob sticks. Then say “Ugh, I am going to die.” And then eat them anyway.

Bonus: I found an awesome Pinterest board that’s all vegan appetizers!

posted: October 18, 2012
under: 80s, comedy, drama, kid friendly, period piece
8 Comments on Mermaids

Stand By Me and Revenge of the Nerds

Aside from being released in the 80’s and being total sausage fests, Stand By Me and Revenge of the Nerds don’t have a lot in common, so let’s divide them up!

Stand By Me isn’t a straight-up comedy like Revenge of the Nerds, but it does have its funny moments so I think they aren’t a total odd couple. The movie is based on a Stephen King story, and while it doesn’t have a lot of the out-there supernatural elements that a lot of Stephen King movies do, the writing, characters, and the fact that it’s set in Castle Rock scream ‘Stephen King’. (Sidebar, if you ever need to distract me for a good 45 minutes, ask me to talk about the Stephen King books that have been made into movies and how they compare to each other and the original material. It usually ends with me writhing on the floor, screaming about how The Stand and IT got done so dirty.)

Four kids, all who have their own issues, set out to find a body they heard was located on a river bank. They want to find it so they can be report it to the police and be the heroes! Unfortunately, two of their brothers are in a gang of dickholes who have the same idea. The kids hoof it like they have a ring to toss into a firey pit, dealing with junk yard dogs, leeches, and trains along the way. Some demons are battled and some comic relief is had, and they all come home a little more grown up.

Starring Wil Wheaton (Star Trek TNG, king nerd of the internets), Corey Feldman (almost all of my favorite movies, f’reals), Jerry O’Connell (Sliders, Crossing Jordan), and River Phoenix (My Own Private Idaho). Kiefer Sutherland (Lost Boys, 24) plays the head of the greasy gang.

That’s what almost every party i’ve ever been to has ended up looking like.

Revenge of the Nerds is a story or triumph. A group of nerds are bullied by a fraternity at their new college, and they never stop fighting back. It is also a story of boobs, fart jokes, and loads of offensive stereotypes. Everything that makes a great comedy! Most of the movie was improvised, including the running card playing gag between Takashi and Booger. Throughout the movie, the jocks hit them with shitty pranks and dickery, and the nerds hit back with their smarts and their own dickery. Dickery all around! But it all ends with a heartwarming speech and the bad guys losing so, that’s really all that matters. Oh, and the musical competition:

Starring Robert Carradine (Lizzie McGuire, being a part of the famous Carradine family), Anthony Edwards (ER, Top Gun), Timothy Busfield (The West Wing, thirtysomething), Curtis Armstrong (American Dad, Boston Legal), Michelle Meyrink (Real Genius, The Outsiders), Ted McGinley (Married With Children, Happy Days), John Goodman (Roseanne, The Big Lebowski), and James Cromwell (American Horror Story, Six Feet Under, being vegan and awesome). A lot of the nerds are famous FOR playing these characters, so you will often see them in small parts and recognize them from this movie. Curtis Armstrong probably gets more guest spots on tv shows than any of the other cast members.

The food that ties these two movies together, is pie. If you do decide to use this movie menu, I recommend you stop eating before you actually get to the pie eating contest in Stand By Me.

Entree:
Whether you’re on a great adventure to find a body, or you’re busy partying with the Omega Moos, you need something that doesn’t require a plate or a fork. The answer: hand pies, hand pies, empanadas. Make a variety and you’ve got a party in everyone’s hand!
Dessert: There are approximately one hojillion vegan pie recipes on the internet that you could make, if you want to stay true to the menus make a cream pie and a blueberry pie.

If none of those appeal to you, here’s a pretty inclusive list of a variety of vegan pies.

posted: October 13, 2012
under: 80s, comedy, drama
7 Comments on Stand By Me and Revenge of the Nerds

Back To School

 

“I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.” ― Mark Twain

Back To School is 96 minutes of Rodney Dangerfield’s famous one-liners with some filler about parties and school and diving meets, aka totally hilarious. Thornton Melon is a totally self-made millionaire, but lacking a formal education. After his wife cheats on him, Thornton decides to visit his son at college where he finds out that his son is miserable. To help his son out (and because he is clearly having a mid-life crisis of some sort), he decides to enroll too! Money is thrown everywhere, ridiculous stunts are pulled to get him, his son, and their roommate what they want. Having Oingo Boingo play your dorm party? Sure. Hiring Kurt Vonnegut to write a paper about himself? Why not! Of course, you can’t buy everything.

Despite having all of this money, Thornton is nothing less than an awesome guy. He loves his son, he is free with his money and favors. The big issue is that he’s so used to buying things and doing what he wants when he wants, he doesn’t handle the responsibilities of college too well. But in the end, with a studying montage, he is able to pull through and squeak by with a solid D average! The American dream.

(Yes, I see the watermark. You see what comes up when you google image search ‘Back To School’ and find me some better screencaps!)

Starring Rodney Dangerfield (Caddyshack, Ladybugs), Sally Kellerman (MASH, her voice), Burt Young (all of the Rocky movies), Keith Gordon (Christine, director), Terry Farrell (DS9, Hellraiser III), Adrienne Barbeau (Escape From New York [she was married to John Carpenter], Carnivale), and William Zabka (the blonde bully from The Karate Kid and Just One of the Guys, Hot Tub Time Machine). Robert Downey Jr. is really good as the roommate, sadly his career never really took off. Who knows what he’s up to these days.

This is a great movie to play ‘spot the cameo’. Can you find Robert Picardo from Star Trek Voyager?

Entree: If you have Vegan Sandwiches, I recommend The Party Monster (page 124), or the recipe posted below! Rodney Dangerfield dumps a couple of appetizer trays into a hollowed out loaf, so I picked the sandwich that I thought was closest match, in spirit, to that strange concoction (no deviled eggs here).
Side: Dive into this three layer (Triple Lindy) dip!
Dessert: It’s just not college without copious amounts of beer (cupcakes). You should really use Miller to make it a proper tribute.

Jimwich, from Vegan Sandwiches Save the Day, posted with permission from Celine Steen (special thanks to Tami’s husband for inventing this!)

For Seitan

1 pound Moo-Free Seitan (page 180, or use your favorite), thinly sliced
1/2 c dry red wine
1/2 tsp black pepper
1/2 tsp smoked salt

For barbequed onions and dressing

1 tsp olive oil
1 1/4 c thinly sliced onion
3 tbsp barbeque sauce
1/3 c vegan mayonnaise (okay, there is one recipe that calls for vegan mayo!)
1 tbsp mustard
2 tsp hot sauce
2 tsp white wine vinegar

For fried pickles
1 1/4 c dill pickles, cut into 1/2 inch rounds and patted dry
6 tbsp flour, divided
canola oil, for cooking
1/2 c non-dairy milk
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon smoked paprika

For seitan and sandwiches

1 baguette, 20 inches long, halved lengthwise and some of inside removed
2 c shredded lettuce
1 large tomato, sliced

To make the seitan: Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F. Combine the seitan, wine, pepper, and salt in a 9 x 13 inch pan. Baked for ten minutes, or until the liquid has evaporated.

To make the onions: Heat the oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add the onion and cook, stirring, for ten minutes, or until softened. Stir in the sauce. Cook for two minutes longer. Set aside and keep until warm.

To make the dressing: Mix all the ingredients together in a small bowl until smooth.

To make the pickles: Line a plate with paper towels. In a medium-size bowl, toss the pickles with one tablespoon of the floor. Pour 1/4 an inch of oil into a large skillet and heat over medium-high heat. in a pie plate, stir together the milk, remaining five tablespoons of flour, baking powder, and paprika. Working in batches, dip the floured pickles into the batter, then place in the skillet. Cook for three minutes, or until golden. Turn and cook the other side for two minutes. transfer to the plate to drain.

To assemble the sandwiches: Spread the dressing evenly on both sides of the bread. Layer with the seitan, onions, pickles, lettuce, and tomato; replace the top of the bread. Cut int four pieces and serve.

posted: October 13, 2012
under: 80s, comedy
43 Comments on Back To School

The Blues Brothers

Hit it!

The Blues Brothers is one of the greatest movies EVER. Funny? Check. Awesome cameos? Check. Bitchin’ soundtrack? Take that check to the bank and cash it! It was the first movie ever made out of a Saturday Night Live skit, and the most successful (maybe tied with Wayne’s World, most of the others were complete turds). A lot of people don’t know that The Blues brothers was more than a skit though, before the movie they released an album, and still continued to tour after Belushi’s death (although now the only original members left are The Colonel and Blue Lou).

The basic plot of the movie is that after being released from jail and finding out that the orphanage he had been raised in with his brother is in danger of being closed for unpaid taxes, Jake has a religious vision that tells him to get the band back together to save the orphanage. It’s comedy with a conscience! Of course, there are many wacky hijinks. Run ins with nazis, Carrie Fisher trying to kill them a few times, more cars wrecked than any other movie in history (103, which wasn’t topped until they wrecked 104 for the sequel).

I don’t think anyone bills The Blues Brothers as a musical, but it is full of awesome music and cameos out the wazoo! The musical guests include Aretha Franklin, James Brown, Cab Calloway, Chaka Kahn, John Lee Hooker, and Ray Charles. And obviously, the band themselves.

Starring John Belushi (SNL, Animal House, rock n’ roll heaven) and Dan Akroyd (SNL, Ghostbusters, all of my other favorite 80’s movies). Other non-musical people include Carrie Fisher (Star Wars), John Candy (Spaceballs, Uncle Buck), Twiggy (60’s supermodel), Frank Oz (Yoda, Miss Piggy and various other Muppets, Paul Reubens (Pee-Wee, Blow, Buffy the Vampire Slayer [the movie]), and some guy named Steven Spielberg is near the end. The bummer about this movie is that a lot of the cast is now dead, mostly from old age, but it’s still a little sad to watch and realize that.

I saw the sequel in the theaters, and while it’s nowhere near as good as the original, I think the musical performances are still great.

The movie takes place in Chicago, was filmed on location, and Dan Akroyd even does an amazing Chicago accent (“We’re on a mission from gad.”), so let’s chow down on some windy city grub!

Entree: I don’t know if I would want to eat the vegan equivalent of four fried chickens along with some dry toast, so instead let’s make a Radical Reuben from The Chicago Diner.
Side: Let’s kill two references with one stone! Sweet Home Chicago AND the cigarettes are both covered with Sweet and Smoky Sweet Potato Fries.
Dessert: There’s only one place we can go with this: Blueberry Pie.
Cocktail: “Who wants an orange whip? Orange whip? Orange whip? Three orange whips!” Easily veganized with non-dairy creamer (thanks to Katie for suggesting this). Non-drinkers should, of course, drink a coke.

posted: October 9, 2012
under: 80s, action, comedy, musical
8 Comments on The Blues Brothers

The Stuff

Oh man, I hate it when I get The Stuff in my eye.

Last year when I was asking for suggestions on what horror movies to do for MoFo, John immediately suggested The Stuff. I had never seen it and it wasn’t available on Netflix at the time, so I couldn’t do it. But now i’ve seen it and here we are!

The Stuff is sticky white substance that some dude discovers coming out of the ground. Naturally, his first instinct is to put it in his mouth and he finds that it’s very sweet. Soon, The Stuff is being marketed as a zero calorie dessert that’s so addictive, it’s putting the ice cream industry out of business! Also it may or may not be a parasitic organism that takes control of the people who eat it. You’ll have to watch to find out!

This movie is delightfully 80’s, has a few funny lines (which may not be intentional), and it’s not particularly scary. It’s definitely a fun movie to watch with a group and good for people who don’t like their horror movies too horror….y.

Starrng Michael Moriarty (the original ADA on Law & Order), Garrett Morris (SNL, 2 Broke Girls), and Paul Sorvino (Goodfellas, also OG Law & Order).

So since it was his idea for me to do this originally, I asked John to help me with the menu.

First, you get yourself a tub of Ricemellow Creme. The Smuckers marshmallow ice cream topping is vegan, if you’re in a pinch. Then grab a spoon and dig in!

Uh, John. I said grab a SPOON. Gross! What is wrong with you?

Oh. Well shit.

(For a serious suggestion, i’d recommend just having a vegan ice cream party! Buy your ice cream or make your own, drown it in Ricemellow, and check out this PPK thread for some topping ideas! There’s also a great article on VegNews full of links about ice cream and related things.)

Many thanks to John for getting goo in his hair and Isa for probably gagging a little while taking the pictures.

posted: October 8, 2012
under: 80s, horror, so bad it's good
284 Comments on The Stuff

Back to the Future and Pleasantville

Hey hey, it’s double feature Saturday! There are a lot of movies that would basically have the same menu, so why not make a night of it? As we speak, i’m hiding under a blanket on my couch, watching Back to the Future. It’s cold, let’s power through some movies!


Back to the Future and Pleasantville both involve a dude (and in one case, his hussy sister) going back in time to the 50’s. Their similarities in plot end there since Pleasantville’s 1950’s scenes take place in a fictional tv world. While everything that Marty does in Back to the Future alters his future in a bad way (aka accidentally making his mom fall in love with him), the changes that David and Jennifer bring about in Pleasantville are liberating (which of course leads to attempts at oppression). And Pleasantville may not have a Doc Brown, but it does have Don Knotts!

If you’ve never seen Pleasantville, it’s about two siblings (David and Jennifer) who get catapulted into the world of an old tv show from the 50’s, where everything is perfect. It never rains, there are no fires or crime, everyone is happy. Except Jennifer, so she goes about slutting it up with Paul “Fast and Furious” Walker, blows bubbles, teaches her mom about masturbation, and slowly, her actions spread and people and objects slowly turn from black and white to color. Which, of course means that some people get really upset about the changes and try to ban color, and people who are in color are harassed. I think it’s a metaphor or something. The transition from black and white to color is really neat to watch, the movie was actually filmed all in color and then the black and white parts were added digitally. In the end, the lesson is that there is no such thing as the perfect life.

If you haven’t seen Back to the Future, I don’t know what to do with you.

Both movies star a whole slew of famous people who are really good at their jobs. I really like playing ‘Ohhhh that’s ______ from ______!’ which is why I make the list of actors, but there are so many between the two films, just IMDB that shizz.

Both movies heavily feature a diner, so the perfect menu to bring these two films together is, 50’s diner food!

Entree:
Now you could go with the obvious burger, but let’s be a tad more creative and make this No Tuna Melt.
Side: You don’t have to make these Baked Potato Fries, but if you do, you have to do the thyme variation for maximum pun-age.
Dessert: You can make the Old Fashioned Creamy Rice Pudding from Vegan Diner, or you could channel Agent Cooper and his favorite diner food, Cherry Pie.

posted: October 6, 2012
under: 80s, 90s, comedy, kid friendly, teen
6 Comments on Back to the Future and Pleasantville

Hairspray

Let’s dance!

Another childhood favorite, Hairspray didn’t just entertain me. It didn’t just teach me about the music, style and dances of the 60’s. It taught me about segregation and racism, more specifically, racism is for crazy assholes. I was a sheltered kid, and Penny’s mom being a paranoid lunatic in a black neighborhood in Baltimore, made little Katie scrunch up her nose and say, “Man, what’s wrong with that woman?” The Von Tussles were the bad guys, and if they supported segregation, clearly it was a bad thing. Also, they didn’t like Tracy and kept making fun of her for being fat. What a bunch of dicks!

Besides the theme of overcoming social injustices, Hairspray is about dancing. All Tracy wants in life is to be on the Corny Collins show, so one night she and her friend Penny sneak off to a dance event where Tracy wins a dance contest and is invited to try out. She gets on, steals the bitchy girl’s boyfriend, becomes a spokesmodel, fights against segregation, and despite some monkey wrenches, come out on top. It would be an underdog story, but Tracy is never really presented as an underdog. The only people who diss her are, like I said, obviously assholes. John Waters managed to take the issues of segregation and racial tension and weave them into a fun storyline, but still treat them seriously.

John Waters is well known for assembling awesome casts. He managed to get a whole slew of musicians in this one: Debbie Harry, Sonny Bono, Ruth Brown, Ric Ocasek, Pia Zadora, Toussaint McCall, and Colleen Fitzpatrick before she morphed in Vitamin C (yes, Amber = Put A Smile On Your Face). Ricki Lake (her talk show, VH1’s Charm School), Jerry Stiller (Seinfeld, King of Queens, fathering Ben Stiller), Mink Stole (every single other John Waters movie), and Divine round out the cast. When I was a kid, I did not know that Divine was a drag queen and apparently I never paid attention to the credits of the movie or that would’ve been incredibly obvious.

Appetizer: Homemade seaweed snacks!
Entree: A hearty macaroni and (cashew) cheese, for the growing teenager in us all.
Side: There are so many Corny jokes that we could make. So, so many. I decided to keep it simple with baked corn on the cob (video link).
Side 2: Gimmie gravy on my mashed potatoes!
Dessert: If you have room and the want to be adventurous, try your hand at making eclairs while wishing your clothing store provided pastries.

And as a bonus, the opening scene complete with the title song, which will be stuck in your head all week. You’re welcome!

posted: October 2, 2012
under: 80s, comedy, kid friendly, period piece, teen
11 Comments on Hairspray

Clue

When a movie adaptation of Battleship was announced, of course people thought it was ridiculous (see above for the faces I made). Who would base a movie on a board game? Johnathan Lynn and John Landis, that’s who! Clue is basically a movie version of a murder mystery dinner party – complete with the dinner!

One a dark rainy night in 1954, a group of people gather in a mansion, where they are greeted by only a butler, a maid, and a cook. None of them know exactly why they’re there or who invited them. But they’re going to find out, dun dun DUNNNNNN! There is suspense, there is intrigue, there is even the candlestick! And of course, there is murder and no one knows who did it.

Clue features some of the funniest people to have ever walked across the screen, and all of the jokes are done with a deadpan delivery. Madeline Kahn’s “flames on the side of my face” speech was totally improvised. If you yearn for a time when a movie wasn’t carried solely by dick jokes (ahem, 21 Jump Street), this is for you. It’s also only rated PG so even though people drop like flies, it’s kid-friendly murdering!

When you watch the movie, you’re given three different endings. When it was originally shown in theaters, the movie had one of the endings randomly attached so people had to read about the other endings in the newspaper (or find out which theaters had which endings so they could see them all).

Now let’s look at this cast! The cast only consists of about a dozen people (besides the huge amount of extras at the end), and like I said, they’re all incredibly funny people. Tim Curry (Rocky Horror, lots of voice acting), Christopher Lloyd (Back to the Future, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Taxi), Madeline Kahn (Blazing Saddles, other Mel Brooks movies), Martin Mull (Roseanne and many other t.v. shows), Lesley Ann Warren (In Plain Sight, Secretary) Michael McKean (Spinal Tap, SNL, Laverne and Shirley) and Eileen Brennan (7th Heaven, Jeepers Creepers) make up the main cast. Colleen Camp (most recognizable as Mrs. Vanderhoff in Wayne’s World) plays the booby french maid, Jane Wiedlin (The Go-Go’s) has a cameo as a singing telegram, and Howard Hesseman (Johnny Fever from WKRP) is The Chief. Phew! Onto the menu:

Entree: The movie takes place in New England, and the dinner party starts with soup, so New England “Clam” Chowder is an obvious choice.
Side: In the movie, they eat soup followed by…monkey brains (unseen, thank god). Obviously there’s nothing vegan to approximate that (thank god), so I just went looking for a semi-fancy (no jello involved) 50’s recipe, so of course I went straight to Meet the Shannonsto look through their ‘Betty Goes Vegan’ recipes and came out with this Bacon and Spinach Salad complete with a hard boiled ‘egg’.
Dessert: Death by Chocolate Rum Cake (in the study, with the cake knife).
Cocktail: I don’t drink, but if you do you should pour yourself an old fashioned Highball.

posted: October 1, 2012
under: 80s, comedy, crime/mystery
8 Comments on Clue

Night of the Demons

Have you noticed that i’ve posted 80’s movies almost exclusively? It all comes down to childhood nostalgia, these are the movies that were released when I was a kid, so they are the ones I like the best. Sometimes ‘good’ doesn’t enter into it for me, and Night of the Demons is definitely one of those movies. It’s not horrible, but unless you have a love of horror movies, you probably won’t want to see it. Also I really wanted to do a non-kid Halloween movie and i’m not up to covering 50 movies about Michael Meyers.

In the late 80’s, a ‘weird’ girl named Angela hosts a party at a Haunted house with her slutty friend Suzanne (played again by always-nude scream queen, Linnea Quigley). For whatever reason, less than ten people show up and no one thinks this is weird or sad. Of course, the house really IS haunted, by a demon, and it slowly possesses the party-goers, who then attack and infect their friends. Some of them appear demon-like right away (the fat guy ends up with a pig nose, of course), Suzanne performs a party trick with a tube of lipstick and does what she does best (hint, it’s not family friendly).

This movie spawned two sequels, neither of which i’ve watched in a long time so I can’t say how bad they might be, but (spoiler alert) the same actress reprises her role as Angela in both of them, so they are tied to the original film. There was also a remake a few years ago which while not bad and it changed the story enough to be unique from the original, is full of some really embarrassing acting from Shannon Elizabeth and Edward Furlong (I KNOW), and some of the fakest breasts i’ve ever seen. But the demons are way cooler looking, so at least it has that going for it.

Usually these movies are filled with no-names and if we’re lucky, someone who hasn’t hit it big yet (it’s fun to see their baby faces), but the woman who plays Angela is actually really interesting! Amelia Kinkade is the niece of Rue McClanahan, a former 80’s video dancing vixen, and now she makes her living as a pet psychic/whisperer/whatever you want to call it.

Entree: The obvious answer would be ‘anything pumpkin’, but when I saw these asparagus skeletons in puff pastry coffins (and the wonton ghosts), I couldn’t resist. I like that these are very adult, yet very Halloweenie.
Side: Another dish that falls under the ‘very adult food, very halloweenie feel’ are these quinoa stuffed pepperjacks!
After all of that grown up, healthy crap, wouldn’t you like some candy? Make your own vegan candy corn!

posted: October 28, 2011
under: 80s, horror, so bad it's good, teen
No Comments on Night of the Demons

Killer Klowns From Outer Space

In space, no one can eat ice cream*.

So at some point in my young life, after I was traumatized against clowns by Poltergeist, I watched Killer Klowns and it scared the pants off of me. When it came out on dvd, I scooped it up and made Brian watch it. Before we started it I was like, “This movie is really scary, just to warn you!” I think it only took about five minutes of viewing before we both realized that I was wrong, and I was horribly, horribly embarrassed. This movie is about as scary as the monkey neck pillow I sleep with!

Aliens who just so happen to look like clowns, land on earth in a spaceship that just so happens to look like a circus tent. Why are they here? To round us up, encase us in cotton candy, and eat us! Of course, people are killed in comical fashions, like with shadow puppets and cotton candy ray guns. Stop judging me, I was like, nine when I watched this! Of course, no one in the town is afraid of a bunch of goofy looking clowns, so they’re not scared and basically just stand there and get slaughtered. Only a couple of teenagers are wise to what’s going on, and it’s up to them to save the day.

Believe it or not, this movie is actually pretty highly rated on IMDB/Rotten Tomatoes, for a horror movie. It’s definitely not scary, but it’s entertaining and not even close to the worst movie i’ve posted.

I’m going to break from my usual meal format because, this is a movie about clowns (and I can only post hot dog recipes so many times)! What do people eat at the circus? Besides sadness and cruelty, I mean. So I collected some recipes of various treats for you to enjoy, besides the obvious answer of: popcorn. Lots and lots of popcorn.

Soft Pumpkin Pretzels
Pizza!
Nachos with your favorite queso sauce, or this seven layer dip
Peanut Butter Caramel Apples
If you’re feeling really adventurous, or have some enemies you want to encase and then suck dry, you can make your own cotton candy.

*this is the tagline for the movie, i’m not that clever.

posted: October 25, 2011
under: 80s, comedy, horror, kid friendly, so bad it's good, teen
2 Comments on Killer Klowns From Outer Space

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