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Freaks and Geeks

Freaks and Geeks is probably tied with My So-Called Life for ‘most beloved one season show of the 90’s’. There isn’t really one specific reason why it’s so great, it’s got everything going for it: the acting is good, the writing is good, the characters are relatable, the situations are realistic, and it takes place in 1980 so there’s lots of clothing choices to laugh at. And unlike a lot of movies or tv shows that are modern period pieces, they don’t go out of their way to smack you over the head with pop culture references. And even though it’s mostly regarded as a comedy, the overall feel of the show is very muted. The crew actually lit the scenes with green tinted lights to give them a muted, ‘midwestern’ look and they avoided shooting outside as much as possible so the sunny California weather didn’t contrast with it too much.

Freaks and Geeks is about the lives of two groups of students at a high school in a small town in Michigan. Lindsay is a girl who has gone from geek to wanna-be freak, and her brother Sam is a total geek. The show mostly centers around them, but it is an ensemble cast so we get plenty of back story on the other kids. Lindsay has the hots for the cute freak, and even though she clearly struggles with being ‘bad’ she goes along with a lot of stuff to impress him. Which is weird because he has a girlfriend. Sam is in love with a cheerleader and also tries to impress her, but that just ends in him being embarrassed repeatedly.

One episode that I really relate to is the episode where Sam freaks out because his gym class is told that after class showers are now mandatory. he’s a really short, skinny kid so of course he’s self-conscious about getting naked in front of the other guys. I remember when we did the tour of my junior high and I saw the showers, I thought of every embarrassing high school shower scene i’d ever seen a movie and started freaking out. Luckily, I quickly found out that no one showered after gym and even if we wanted to, the teacher gave us less than ten minutes to change. And no one ever ripped off my clothes and pushed me out into the hall!

My favorite character is Nick, because look at this guy. Jason Segel plays obsessive characters a lot and he does it really well, and he’s nice at the same time so you kind of want to root for him to get the girl even though he’s kind of creepy about it.

Freaks and Geeks never stood a chance, it started out on Saturday nights and was often preempted for other programming. They actually shot the finale halfway through the season because they didn’t even expect to get past the original 13 episodes, but NBC ordered another five before cancelling it. They received lots of critical acclaim and even won an Emmy, and the show has a huge following. The only thing I find disappointing is that there wasn’t a ten year reunion movie! What the hell! Judd Apatow is rich, everyone on the show got really famous, they totally could’ve gotten the money to make it!

In case you don’t recognize the people above, starring Linda Cardellini (ER, Scooby Doo, Mad Men), John Francis Daley (Bones, Waiting), James Franco (Spiderman, Milk, General Hospital), Busy Philipps (Dawson’s Creek, ER, Cougar Town), Jason Segel (How I Met Your Mother, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Slackers), Seth Rogen (Knocked Up, Zack and Miri, The League), Samm Levine (Inglorious Basterds, Not Another Teen Movie), Martin Starr (Adventureland, Party Down, Veronica Mars movie), plus cameos from everyone to Joel Hodgson (MST3k) to Ben Stiller.

Menu time! Lindsay’s mom is such a good cook that it’s hard to choose one entree, so take your pick. No peanuts are present anywhere!

Entree: Skip the three way date and go straight for the ribs, comfort a hysterical teenage girl with seitan (not veal, ew) piccata, invite your mom over for some Monster Mash shepherd’s pie and maybe to help her hand out candy in dorky costumes, or enjoy Bill’s mom’s pot roast.
Side dish: relive the 80’s by boiling the shit out of any vegetable you want!
Dessert: make some vegan donuts for your French class, and then let people eat them off the floor. Or just make the donuts.

posted: September 16, 2014
under: 90s, comedy, kid friendly, period piece, teen, tv shows
6 Comments on Freaks and Geeks

Can’t Hardly Wait

 

It’s the last party of their high school career and Preston just found out that his dream girl, Amanda, is newly single.  As you can see above, he is dorkily excited about it.  He decides he’s going to give her a letter about how he feels at said party, and obviously that doesn’t go smoothly.  Also he drags along his best friend who hates everyone and no one even knows her name.  But who cares about that crap when we can talk about Kenny Fisher?

This movie is full of high school stereotypes, and Kenny is the rich (look at that SUV) white kid who drops so much street slang that almost everything he says could be a catchphrase.  Why is he wearing goggles?  Was that ever cool?  Anyway, Kenny desperately wants to get laid, and he has a backpack full of sexy things to help, like a Fragrance of Love scented candle, bitch.  It’s so ridiculous that it’s cute and i’m not sure if anyone but Seth Green could’ve pulled this role off without looking like a total jackass.  Keeping this all in mind is the only thing that got me through the pilot of Dads.

There are other sub-plots, like a group of nerds plotting to embarrass the jerky jock/Amanda’s ex, said jock trying to get his friends to all dump their girlfriends because he’s convinced that girls will be lining up for them at college, Barry Manilow, and a whole lot of stuff that was edited out to get a PG-13 rating/for time.

Mostly starring Ethan Embry (Empire Records, Sweet Home Alabama) and Jennifer Love Hewitt (Party of Five, The Ghost Whisperer).  Also a whole bunch of Buffy alum appear!  And does anyone else remember that show that ran for one season, Byrds of Paradise, where J-Love and Seth Green played siblings?

This movie came out my senior year, so it’s only natural that I would try to pick out my ‘character’ in the movie.  I would’ve been Amber Benson, obviously.

Entree:  Anyone order a Loveburger?  No?  I’m not entirely sure what would be on a Loveburger (no jizz jokes), so just pick any ol’ burger you want to make, Joni has quite a few recipes.

Side: We are gonna get rippppppppppppppppped on watermelon!  And by we I mean people who actually drink, us sober assholes could I guess just use raspberry juice.

Dessert:  I bet you’re thinking the pot brownies, right?  Wrong, those brownies sucked, remember?  We are gonna make our own strawberry poptarts/hand pies.

 

 

 

posted: September 26, 2013
under: 90s, comedy, romance, teen
2 Comments on Can’t Hardly Wait

Josie and the Pussycats

 

Okay, I think we’ve established that I am no fine art cinema connoisseur.  But there are even movies where I say, “That looks incredibly dumb and i’m not watching it.”  Josie and the Pussycats was one of those movies.  If it wasn’t for the fact that I was alone with my friend’s alcoholic mother, who I was deeply afraid of and who wanted to watch it, I never would’ve seen it.

Josie, Mel, and Val have big dreams of being rock stars, but the reality is that they’re playing in bowling alleys and Alan M, the hottest guy in Riverdale, is clueless about Josie’s feelings for him.  They’re discovered by a record executive who needs to replace a boy band that he just offed, and they’re whisked away to The City to get makeovers, record an album, and help brainwash the youth of Americ–I mean uh, be totally jerkin’.

Josie and the Pussycats heavily makes fun of the music industry, from the amazing fake boy band to the over-the-top corporate sponsorship that goes on these days.  You might see the Hostess sign in the picture above them, or them drinking coffee at Starbucks and think ‘ew, product placement’, but when you look at the Target-themed plane and room, and the McDonald’s themed bathroom, you have to realize the joke (also the movie received zero compensation for all of these product placements).

At times, the movie even makes fun of itself.  When they’re flying to The City, Alexander (the band’s manager, if you aren’t familiar with the comics) looks at his sister (who hates Josie) and says, “I still don’t understand why you’re here.” and she says, “I’m here because I was in the comic book.”

The cast is also quite wonderful, with several award winners.  Alan Cumming (X-Men 2, The Good Wife, more awards than you can shake a stick at), Rosario Dawson (Kids, Sin City, Rent, Death Proof, nominated for many awards), Gabriel Mann (Revenge, The Bourne Movies), Rachel Leigh Cook (She’s All That, Perception), Paulo Costanzo (Road Trip, Royal Pains), and super-funny Missi Pyle (The Sarah Silverman Program, Big Fish, Betty Bee in Pushing Daisies).  Tara Reid, god bless her, has never played a role better than the space cadet hippie who cries over puppies getting old (the quote on my twitter profile is one of her lines from the movie).

I’ll let Seth Green represent DuJour with a single move.

The soundtrack did way better than the movie, and with good reason.  It was produced by Babyface (who also has a cameo in the movie as The Chief), vocals were provided by Kay Hanley of Letters To Cleo, and people like Bif Naked and Jane Wiedlin contributed.

Entree:  One packet of ramen does go a long way, but grilled ramen will go even further because it’s a whole meal!

Dessert:  When the going gets tough, the tough make lemon(ade) cupcakes!

 

 

 

posted: September 26, 2013
under: 2000s, comedy, kid friendly, teen
1 Comment on Josie and the Pussycats

Dazed and Confused

 

AIR RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAID!!!

Dazed and Confused is about the last day of school/first day of summer break in 1976, that focuses on the new group of seniors and some of the incoming freshmen. Even though there’s a 20 year difference, some of the movie reminds me of my teenage years. Driving around, listening to…probably the Dazed and Confused soundtrack…being a pothead, looking for a field to drop a keg in. What, did you think I was going to say I was covered in mustard and ketchup and/or chased down and beaten by seniors?

The thing with the initiation, which one of the characters even comments on as they’re watching it (“They clearly have permission to use the parking lot, they’re selling concessions…”) is that it seems to be a totally sanctioned town activity for older teenagers to drive around, capture, and beat the younger ones with wooden paddles all summer long. The girls have it much easier because not only is their hazing being yelled at, having food dumped on them, and a drive through the car wash, but their hazing lasts for one day and it’s voluntary.

It’s weird to say this, but Dazed and Confused has two of the best ‘perpetually high’ performances ever: Rory Cochrane and Matthew McConaughey really nail the body language of people who are stoned so often that you can’t even tell when they’re not. Matthew McConaughey explains his character inspiration briefly here.

Starring Jason London (Carrie 2, The Man in the Moon, his twin was the one in Mallrats and Party of Five), Adam Goldberg (crazy Eddie on Friends, The Hebrew Hammer), Anthony Rapp (Adventures in Babysitting, Rent), Matthew McConaughey (Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation, Tropic Thunder), Cole Hauser (Good Will Hunting, Pitch Black), Milla Jovovich (The 5th Element, Resident Evil and other ass kicking roles), Joey Lauren Adams (Chasing Amy, The United States of Tara), Parker Posy (Party Girl, Scream 3), Nicky Katt (Planet Terror, Boston Public), and some dude named Ben Affleck as the poofy-haired asshole that no one actually likes.

Entree: Sunflower Mac, Zig Zags are optional.
Side: There’s a lot of beer in this movie, so take your pick: beer battered pickles,onion rings, or zucchini.
Dessert: Why climb the Moon Tower (and possibly fall off, smacking your head on every beam) why you can just make and eat moon pies?

posted: September 25, 2013
under: 90s, comedy, drama, period piece, teen
1 Comment on Dazed and Confused

Empire Records

Empire Records is a movie about a day in an independent record store in the 90’s.  My dad owned a record store when I was a teenager (and drove a hearse), and despite what you may think it didn’t make me popular or cool, I was actually ridiculed about it from 7th grade up until I switched high schools.  Luckily, this movie plays into the idea that working at a record store is cool as shit and it’s full of hip, hip people with a buttload of problems.  But who cares about that?  Not I.  Not on Rex Manning Day!

On the same day that one of the employees sells $9,000 and they all find out that their beloved store is being turned into a chain ala Tower Records, a washed up pop star is coming to the store to promote his new album.  And then there’s head shaving, shoplifting, Gwar hallucinations, college pressures, and lots and lots of music.  Because you know.

Empire Records was panned by the critics when it came out, but fans love it.  They celebrate Rex Manning Day (I just watch the movie and make brownies).  There is a special ‘fan edition’ dvd that includes the Rex Manning music video and a whopping extra sixteen minutes of footage, most of which I honestly think should’ve stayed out.  If you’ve never seen the movie and can’t pick out what the extra footage is, if you find yourself wondering why they’re blathering on about bullshit for no reason, it’s probably an extra scene.

It has been done before and it has been done since, but a woman shaving off her hair on camera for a movie is always bad ass.  It’s not just about making yourself less ‘pretty’, I constantly hide behind my hair so shaving my head to me is the same as walking around topless.  Right after this, Robin Tunney filmed The Craft so her hair in that movie is 100% wig.

While I was poking around last night I found this list of who’s who in Empire Records, so instead of listing them off i’ll just link to that.

Bonus:  if you are a fan of Grease 2 this will either ruin or make your day.

There is limited food and food inspiration in this movie, i’ll admit, so we’re dipping into the vast (and awesome) soundtrack to help!  Eddie brings in a pizza at one point but honestly, you can only use a random pizza so many times.

Appetizers:  The Cranberries + Cracker = Cranberry Herbed Crackers.  I’ve never made my own crackers but that recipe seems pretty simple.  Serve with blue cheese dip (the buffalo bites have no reference to the movie but there’s no reason you can’t make them too, or anything else you want to dip).

Cocktail:  Gin Blossoms + The Martinis = Dirty Gin Martini.

Dessert:  There is only one thing (okay, two things if you want to make Happy Rex Manning Day cupcakes) to make:, some ‘herbal’ brownies.  Actually i’m noticing that everything in this menu has herbs of some sort.  Substitute pot wherever you want, just don’t watch Gwar videos while eating it.

posted: September 24, 2013
under: 90s, comedy, drama, teen
4 Comments on Empire Records

Pretty In Pink

If I had to wear a dress like that, i’d have permanent bitchface too.

I don’t usually do this, but i’m going to complain about Pretty In Pink.  I used to say it was my favorite Brat Pack movie, and then I saw Some Kind of Wonderful and it slid down to number two.  Now, I think I might straight-up hate it.  Every time I watch it, I like it a little less and this last time I spent half of the movie yelling at it.  I find all three of the main characters completely loathsome and if I could jump into my tv and smack them all, I would.  They’re all whiny douchebags in their own way, Andie’s shrill crying, Duckie’s way past cute and balls deep into annoying, and Blane could be replaced with a wet towel and no one would notice.  Also, how are they going to tell us that Andie is some amazing fashionista when everything she wears I could’ve pulled right out of my mom’s closet, and then her big ‘creation’ looks like THAT?

The eternal question of ‘Duckie or Blane’ is bullshit, because the answer is:  Steff.  You take Steff up to his super fancy hotel room that his dad is paying for and you hate fuck the shit out of him.  And then when he passes out you shave off that feathered hair because, why, James Spader?  Why was your hair bad in almost every movie you made all the way up to Stargate?

The supporting cast is awesome though.  Iona, Dad, Benny, Steff, Jenna, and Simon are all great.  And I like Molly Ringwald and Andrew McCarthy, just not in these roles.  If you’ve ever seen Teen Movie, I think the character that parodies Duckie really isn’t much of a stretch.   I might be biased though because I had my own Duckie in high school, and yes I went to prom with him but only because he guilted me into it and I had the flu and then he took me over to a friend’s house so I could watch them play video games in a basement and that’s why I wouldn’t be your girlfriend, dick.

Starring Molly Ringwald (80’s queen, The Secret Life of the American Teenager), Andrew McCarthy (Lipstick Jungle, Weekend At Mannequin’s), Jon Cryer (Two and a Half Men), Annie Potts (Ghostbusters, Joan of Arcadia), Harry Dean Stanton (Big Love, The Avengers) James Spader (Boston Legal, Stargate), and Kate Vernon (BSG, Malcom X).

Entrée:  You can make a stir fry, or a curry, but you have to use mock duck (found in cans at your local Asian grocery) and for my menu I decided on this Spicy Mock Duck Sloppy Joes.

Side:  Something has to be pink, so how about pink (from beets) mashed potatoes?

Dessert:  Since we are to be reminded over and over that Andie is poor and therefore everyone rich hates her, we are going to make a wacky cake, and Andie doesn’t like eggs anyway.

posted: September 20, 2013
under: 80s, comedy, drama, teen
1 Comment on Pretty In Pink

Clueless

How do we even talk about Clueless?  I feel like trying to describe it is like trying to describe a unicorn sliding down a rainbow while playing a sweet guitar riff.  I also feel like you’ve all seen it so you know, but anyway:  high school!  Rich kids!  Crazy fashions and made up slang!  Finding yourself and realizing that you have depth and a big crush on your ex-stepbrother!  The best soundtrack of any 90’s movie (tied with Empire Records)!

As a teen in the 90’s, I found Clueless totally unrelatable.  I lived in the midwest and dressed (and acted) more like Travis Birkenstock than any of the girls.  Shoes and shopping and parties was not my thing at all, but I was still totally obsessed with the movie and watched it not sporadically.  Because it’s not about being an accurate depiction of teen life, or teaching us a social lesson.  It’s about breaking in your purple clogs.

Beyond the superficial surface, Clueless smartly takes Cher from an almost cartoonish spoiled rich girl to a normal human being.  When the movie is starting and she says, “She’s my friend because we both know what it’s like for people to be jealous of us.” you kind of want to choke her.  And then after a short while you realize that she’s a lot nicer than most popular girls and by the end you want to be her BFF and let her dye your hair in her jet powered bathtub.

The most important thing that Clueless gave us was the sickest burn of all time that I still use, “You’re a virgin who can’t drive.”

If you love cast reunions as much as I do, check out this one:

This movie launched many careers, including Alicia Silverstone, Paul Rudd, Donald Faison, Breckin Meyer, and Jeremy Sisto, and I guess you could say Brittany Murphy if you weren’t a fan of the amazing The Torklesons/Almost Home. Girl was, is, and will always be a star.

Onto the menu!

Entree:  If there was a readily available vegan McMuffin available, I would always be tardy for it.  There are so many ways you can make one, if you want to make your own English Muffins there’s a recipe in Vegan Brunch or the Ezekiel ones are readily available even where I live.  You can make the tofu omelets from the PPK or the fried egg from Betty Goes Vegan,  Top with Upton’s seitan bacon or maybe some Tofurkey slices or just the ‘egg’.  Normally I am down for homemade cheeses but I think in this case it’s some sliced Tofutti/Go Veggie slices or go home (those Daiya slices are awful, sorry).  Be sure to squeeze your VegMuffin while declaring that your buns, they don’t feel nothin’ like steel.

Side:  A plateful of popcorn fries (recipe below) is way better than a handful of popcorn and some bacon and peanut butter m&ms and whatever else is in that quote, and they will go great with your VegMuffin!

Dessert?  Craving an herbal refreshment, you friggin’ pothead?  That’s cool, I support legalizing marijuana and wish that medical marijuana was more widely available.  But in the meantime, make some Chocolate Chip Mint Leaf Icebox Cookies (recipe below) instead. Please don’t drop the entire roll of dough into the oven to impress a guy.

 

And finally the connection to Kevin Bacon from this film is our favorite fashionable vegan herself, Alicia Silverstone.  They were in Beauty Shop together!  Tune in Monday for a new set of movies.

 

Popcorn Fries, from Eat, Drink & Be Vegan, posted with permission by Dreena Burton

2 1/2 T coconut oil

2 1/2-2/34 lb Russet or white potatoes, washed

1/2 t sea salt

1/2-1/2 t ground turmeric (optional, for color)

2-3 T nutritional yeast (the recipe says optional, but in my opinion nooch is always a must)

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.  Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.  Cut potatoes (peeling optional) into strips 1/2-in think.  Add coconut oil to baking sheet and place in oven for 2-3 minutes until oil is just melted, then remove from oven and add potatoes, salt and turmeric and carefully toss to combine.  Bake for 60-70 minutes, until potatoes are golden in spots and fully cooked.  If desired, toss in nutritional yeast five minutes before end of baking.

——————————————-

Chocolate Chip Mint Leaf Icebox Cookies, from Vegan Cookies Invade Your Cookie Jar, posted with permission by Terry Romero

(As a side note, I want to say that these are some of my favorite cookies ever and a great use of an overactive mint plant, so if you’ve never tried them, please do!)

1/2 cup fresh mint leaves, lightly packed

1/2 cup nonhydrogenated margarine, softened

1/2 cup nonhydrogentated shortening

1 cup plus 2 T sugar

1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract

1/4 cup non-dairy milk

1 2/3 cup all purpose flour

1/3 cup cornstarch

1/4 t salt

1/2 t baking soda

1 cup chocolate chips (lightly chop chips if they are very large, this will make slicing through the dough much easier)

 

1.  Wash the mint leaves and pat them dry with a towel or spin them in a salad spinner.  Remove any stems and with a heavy knife mince the leaves very fine.

2.  In a large bowl, using an electric hand mixer, cream together the margarine, shortening, and sugar until light and fluffy, about three minutes.  Scrape down the sides often.  Beat in the vanilla and mint extracts.  Add non-dairy milk and beat until creamy.  Sift in the flour, cornstarch, salt, and baking soda and mix to form a soft dough.  Using a rubber spatula, fold in the finely chopped mint and chocolate chips.  Dough will be slightly sticky.

3.  Scrape the dough, with a rubber spatula, onto a large sheet of wax paper.  Form a log about 2 inches wide and 12 inches long, taking hold of the ends of the wax paper and gently tugging to create a rounder log of dough.  Wrap and tuck in the ends of the wax paper and chill the dough till very firm, at least 2 hours or overnight.

4.  Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.  Line two baking sheets with parchment paper.  Slice the dough into 1/2 inch thick slices, place them at least 2 inches apart on the sheets (cookies will spread), and bake 12 to 14 minutes till the edges start to brown.  Remove the cookies from the oven and allow them to cook 5 minutes before carefully lifting them with a spatula onto wire racks to cool.  Store in a loosely covered container.

 

 

posted: September 7, 2013
under: 90s, comedy, teen
15 Comments on Clueless

Uncle Buck’s Breakfast Club

Ain’t no party like a pancake party cause a pancake party don’t stop! Unless you run out of syrup.

For this week’s double feature, we’re taking the literal title of The Breakfast Club and the party that that Buck throws for his niece and nephew and smoosh! Since they’re both 80’s films and semi-family friendly (nudity free and what not), they work well together.

I feel a little ridiculous pretending that you don’t know about The Breakfast Club, or the Brat Pack and who all of those people are. So we’ll talk about Uncle Buck!

Buck is a total slob, slacker, loser, whatever you want to call him. But when his brother’s father-in-law has a heart attack, he has to drop everything to take care of his nieces and nephew for awhile. Unfortunately, his teenage niece is a total moody hosebeast who dates a guy named Bug. Fortunately, Buck is the kind of guy who carries a hatchet around in his car and doesn’t take guff from any damn teenagers. They grow, they learn, they bowl, Buck punches a clown in the face…it’s a warm and fuzzy family movie in the end.

Starring John Candy (Spaceballs, SCTV), Garrett M. Brown (Big Love, Roswell), Laurie Metcalf (Roseanne, Big Bang Theory), and tiny babies Gaby Hoffman (Now and Then, 200 Cigarettes) and Macaulay Culkin (Party Monster, Saved!, some movie you’ve probably never heard of called Home Alone).

Entree: In an attempt to be a little morre creative than suggesting simple pancakes, I give you a crepe cake!
Side one: “You should see the (avocado) toast, I couldn’t even get it through the door.”
Side two: For Buck’s cigars, or for those potheads in the library, Smoky Maple Sausages.
Dessert…ish: Obviously with a crepe cake you don’t really need a dessert, and this menu is kind of lacking in vegetables, so a green smoothie seems like a good idea.

posted: October 21, 2012
under: 80s, comedy, kid friendly, teen
3 Comments on Uncle Buck’s Breakfast Club

Drop Dead Gorgeous

Jesus loves winners!

Drop Dead Gorgeous is a mockumentary about a beauty pageant in a small town in Minnesota. Because of the subject matter, the cast is almost exclusively female, and I think it’s one of the best female-led comedies of the 90’s.

The main character is Amber, who wants to win the pageant to help her get out of a dead end life in this small town. She lives with her chain smoking mom in a trailer, she’s super nice, and she’s a talented tap dancer. She is totes going to nail this shit, right? WRONG. The head of the pageant committee’s daughter has also entered, and…strange things happen. Exploding threshers, exploding trailers, stray bullets to the head. Anyone who crosses Becky is eliminated, the judges are clearly paid off, and her family is the richest family in town. But is that enough to get her to the state pageant? We’ll see!

Besides being incredibly quotable (“Mom still cries whenever she sees a tilt-a-whirl or a fat lady in a tube top.”), and having some really bizarre moments like a dramatic monlogue from Soylent Green or Becky (badly) singing and dancing with a blow up Jesus on a cross, I think the best part of Drop Dead Gorgeous is that there are so. Many. Funny. Women.

Kirsten Dunst (Spiderman, Bring It On) and Denise Richards (Starship Troopers, Wild Things) are fine as the leads, but they are outshined by the three duos of adult women in the movie. Ellen Barkin (The New Normal, This Boy’s Life) and Allison Janney (The West Wing, Juno) are Amber’s mom and her best friend, and they are hilarious. The best part of the pageant is every shot of them in the audience. Kirstie Alley (Cheers, Look Who’s Talking) plays Becky’s mom and Mindy Sterling (Austin Powers) is her lackey/verbal punching bag. And finally, Nora Dunn (SNL) and Mo Gaffney (That 70’s Show, The Kathy & Mo Show) have a few minutes as the ladies in charge of the state pageant. And of course, Brittany Murphy (Clueless, King of the Hill) is awesome. I’m sure i’m not alone when I say GOD DAMMIT WHY ARE YOU DEAD YOU WERE SO FUNNY AND SO AWESOME. Oh and some girl named Amy Adams who is now super famous got her movie career kicked off here.

And now onto the menu! The first thing I did was google ‘vegan lutefisk‘. You have fun with that.

Appetizer: One great thing about being vegan is that you never have to worry about food poisoning from undercooked shellfish. We could win every beauty pageant with a seafood bar! I know not a lot of people have access to vegan versions of seafood, but I bet this shrimp cocktail would still be good with this fish flavored seitan.
Entree: With all of the funerals and church potlucks going on, you need a casserole. Or as they call it in Minnesota, a ‘Hot Dish‘. A looser recipe with more of an explanation can be found here.
Dessert: Gladys may have had her faults, but apparently she could solve world hunger with a rhubarb pie.

posted: October 11, 2012
under: 90s, comedy, teen
15 Comments on Drop Dead Gorgeous

Back to the Future and Pleasantville

Hey hey, it’s double feature Saturday! There are a lot of movies that would basically have the same menu, so why not make a night of it? As we speak, i’m hiding under a blanket on my couch, watching Back to the Future. It’s cold, let’s power through some movies!


Back to the Future and Pleasantville both involve a dude (and in one case, his hussy sister) going back in time to the 50’s. Their similarities in plot end there since Pleasantville’s 1950’s scenes take place in a fictional tv world. While everything that Marty does in Back to the Future alters his future in a bad way (aka accidentally making his mom fall in love with him), the changes that David and Jennifer bring about in Pleasantville are liberating (which of course leads to attempts at oppression). And Pleasantville may not have a Doc Brown, but it does have Don Knotts!

If you’ve never seen Pleasantville, it’s about two siblings (David and Jennifer) who get catapulted into the world of an old tv show from the 50’s, where everything is perfect. It never rains, there are no fires or crime, everyone is happy. Except Jennifer, so she goes about slutting it up with Paul “Fast and Furious” Walker, blows bubbles, teaches her mom about masturbation, and slowly, her actions spread and people and objects slowly turn from black and white to color. Which, of course means that some people get really upset about the changes and try to ban color, and people who are in color are harassed. I think it’s a metaphor or something. The transition from black and white to color is really neat to watch, the movie was actually filmed all in color and then the black and white parts were added digitally. In the end, the lesson is that there is no such thing as the perfect life.

If you haven’t seen Back to the Future, I don’t know what to do with you.

Both movies star a whole slew of famous people who are really good at their jobs. I really like playing ‘Ohhhh that’s ______ from ______!’ which is why I make the list of actors, but there are so many between the two films, just IMDB that shizz.

Both movies heavily feature a diner, so the perfect menu to bring these two films together is, 50’s diner food!

Entree:
Now you could go with the obvious burger, but let’s be a tad more creative and make this No Tuna Melt.
Side: You don’t have to make these Baked Potato Fries, but if you do, you have to do the thyme variation for maximum pun-age.
Dessert: You can make the Old Fashioned Creamy Rice Pudding from Vegan Diner, or you could channel Agent Cooper and his favorite diner food, Cherry Pie.

posted: October 6, 2012
under: 80s, 90s, comedy, kid friendly, teen
6 Comments on Back to the Future and Pleasantville

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