The Monster Squad
I promised myself that I would post a more kid-friendly movie today, and here it is! The Monster Squad is PG-13, and it’s an 80’s PG-13. Not like today when PG-13 on a horror movie means “We didn’t put nudity or the word fuck in here, because if we get an R rating teens can’t see our movie and give us their money.” There is smoking, a little cussing, and the greatest line in a kid’s movie ever, “Wolfman’s got nards!”, but overall it is very tame as long as you don’t mind your kid hearing the word ‘bitch’ or asking you what a virgin is.
While it’s not the most well-known movie, it is beloved by many people, horror fan or not. Last year, The Alamo Drafthouse in Austin hosted two sold-out screenings that were attended by the director and a good chunk of the cast.
A group of pre-teen kids have a club called The Monster Squad, and they discover that there is an amulet that can be used to send all monsters of the world into a black hole…unless Dracula gets a hold of it first. And of course, Dracula is a dick who wants to rule the world, so he assembles a team of monsters to help him find the amulet first. Of course, to stop Dracula and open the black hole thingamig, they need a virgin to read an incantation in German. It’s always something, am I right? P.S. Don’t blame me if you cry at the end a little.
Even though this is a kids movie, it’s still a decent movie for adults. There are monsters, and they aren’t cute and fuzzy. It has more in common with Super 8 than it does Hocus Pocus…not that there’s anything wrong with grown adults watching Hocus Pocus!
Entree: kittee’s xgfx tempeh sausage balls, but of course you will call them nards and giggle.
Side: Vegan Garlic Pasta with Broccoli, to keep that dick Dracula away, and because your mom wants you to eat your broccoli!
Dessert: How about dessert based on a virgin drink? You can try Kelly’s Shirley Temple cookies, or the mojito pie from Yellow Rose Recipes minus the rum option.